The Distance Is What's Killing Me
by ValkubusKate
Summary: Tamsin is trying her hardest to stay away from Bo, but a serious of events lands her right into Bo's arms. Fighting her feelings, will she be able to keep the distance or will she give in to her emotions and give the Happy Sunshine Gang a shot? VALKUBUS. M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Tamsin:**

I don't know what it is going through my head. My thoughts are scattered, my mind trying to find an ounce of peace. I just can't focus.

She is laying there. RIGHT THERE. Within an arm length. And I can't touch her. I am too afraid. Every time we got close, I would pull further and further away. It breaks my heart, and I didn't know why. It's not like I'm in love with her, right?

Maybe I am. In love with her that is. Maybe that's why every time we get close warning bells go off in my head, forcing me to step back. I can't let it happen again. I can't fall in love again. I've spent the past 300 years mourning the death of my former. Trying, with every bit of my being, to shut off my emotions. Emotions made you weak. I don't want to be weak, I need to be strong. Strong for her.

She has no idea that is coming for her. What danger she is in around me. It's my duty as a Valkyrie to bring her in. He wants her, and it's clear as to why. She is strong. Stronger than anyone I've ever met in any of my many lifetimes. And by the Gods, if she isn't perfect, I don't know what is.

Just being this close to her now is killing me. I want her so bad, but I can't risk it. I don't want to be a bitch, but she HAS to hate me.

If she hated me, she wouldn't have asked me to stay tonight…

If I wasn't so weak I would have told her no and walked away…

If, if, if. Loads of "ifs". One simple answer.

I was in love with her. Damn her succubus charm.

"Tamsin?" she mumbled my name, my head snaps towards her lips. Those lips. I'm not going to reply, besides I can't seem to find my voice. I can feel her sliding closer to me.

"Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Don't touch me." I'm silently begging her to leave room. I would melt in an instant the moment her skin touches mine. Why am I even here?

**8 hours earlier**

"Bo!" I screamed frantically, running towards her. "Bo run!" I knew she wouldn't run, she was too brave for that, stupid, but brave.

She had 4 guys on her. Red Caps at that, and once they have a target they don't stop till their caps are soaked in their victim's blood.

She was fighting valiantly, and I was still too far away to offer any assistance. As I approached the quarrel two Red Caps suddenly dropped to the ground. "Damn babe." I muttered jumping into the brawl. 2 on 2. It seems fair now. Bo's back pressed against mine and I was suddenly aware of how close we were. My breath caught in my throat. My heart started to pound, all I could think about was our close contact. I almost forgot we were under attack until a fist loomed towards my head.

I ducked just before Bo's fist came swinging over colliding with the dudes jaw. "Nice hit." I

Exhaled as I turned to face the last Red Cap standing. He looked terrified and I noticed him stealing glances at his fallen comrades, never fully taking his eyes away from Bo and I. Just as Bo took a step towards him he turned and hi-tailed it out of there, off to find back up I assumed.

"Bo." Worried I turned towards her. She had a bloody gash on her forehead and a split lip. Gently I wiped the dirt from her cheek with my thumb, too afraid to touch around her "Bo-Bo's"

"Babe, you need to feed."

"I'm fine Tamsin." She gave me that "Don't fuck with me" signature Bo look and took a step backwards stumbling.

Unaware of my body movements, I stepped with her and pulled her against me tightly. She sank heavily in my arms which worried me.

"Come on babe, we need to get you back." I threw her arm around my shoulder before she could say anything about the hug and helped her hobble a ways to my truck. I opened the door and slid her inside.

"Tamsin you don't have to take me home, I can get there myself." She chided as soon as I closed my door and started the engine.

"Yeah right." I scoffed throwing the gear in drive and speeding off towards her run down shack she calls home.

"Listen, I'll get you inside, but after that call Lauren or Dyson in. You really need to feed." I wanted to be the one she called. I wanted to stay and help her, get her cleaned up. But being this close was already too much for me to handle. I needed to get away, drown my uprising emotions in a good old glass of Vodka.

"Tamsin…"she whispered my name. I couldn't help myself, I stole a glance her way.

"Tamsin, please stay with me tonight." Fuck. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. How could I say non to that? She looked pitiful and she was asking ME to stay.

"Sorry babe," I heard myself replying. "I've got a hot date with a bottle of Vodka back at mine." Thank All-father I didn't need to think to say those words. If I had, had it my way, I wouldn't have been able to resist.

"Please Tamsin, I won't feed off of you, I just… Kenzi is away and I don't feel safe being home alone after what just happened." I could hear tears in her voice, shit must be serious because Bo never cries.

I sigh defeated. "Fine. Tonight only, but first thing in the morning call someone. You need to heal."

I pulled up in front of her house and cut the engine. I sat there staring ahead for a few moments before getting out and striding over to her door. I pulled her out and balanced her against me gently before practically dragging her into the shack.

I sat her down on the couch and ran ahead to her bathroom to draw her a hot bath.

"I must be getting soft in my old age." I muttered after realizing what I was doing. I added the bubbles and turned off the water and made my way back downstairs to Bo. "Come on Succulet, let's get you all cleaned up."

I sat on the toilet as she laid in the tub. She didn't have the energy to really wash herself, she was fighting to stay awake. I crawled over to the tub and grabbed a rag and began to wash her face, as carefully as I could.

"Come on let's get you to bed." I heaved her up, it felt like I was picking up a dead body, even though she was white, and I wrapped a towel around her leading her into the bedroom. I remember her saying she didn't wear underwear so I didn't bother checking for some as I picked up some jammie looking clothes off the floor and dressed her. She crawled into bed and I wrapped the covers around her and made my way to the bedroom door.

"Tamsin…" she said my name again. Silently I cursed myself as I turned to look at her.

"What?" a shrugged. "I'm not leaving, I said I would stay, so I'll be on the touch." I turned and grabbed the doorknob.

"Please stay here, in here, with me." She mumbled, mustering up the strength to sit up and draw back the covers.

I groaned inwardly and sulked over to the bed, I knew it was a bad idea, but the way she looked, all vulnerable, I didn't have the heart to say no.

She didn't try anything once I laid down, she kept to one side of the bed, and I to the other. I liked it that way, I could keep my distance for a night. But at first light I was booking it.

**I'm trying my hand at writing a Lost Girl story. I've really only done PJO, and even then it was very good. I think I'm going to end this chapter now, I know where I want to take it, it's just a matter of, should I continue? Let me know what you guys think! Review, PM me, give me ideas, ask me questions, criticize me, whatever. Don't be strangers! Thanks for reading this chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry guys, already busy after posting the first chapter! Work is kicking my butt *SIGH* Anyways I'm finally home for a short period of time so I thought I would attempt to write another chapter, with my scattered-brain-ness. Hope you enjoy!**

_I was drowning, I couldn't breathe, it wasn't water I was in, though, it was emotions. I was sick. Sick with fear, sick with regret, sick with worry. What was going to happen? I made that choice. I MADE that choice and I knew, just below the surface, not deep down, that it was a bad choice. I betrayed her. I betrayed me. _

__I woke up gasping for air, tears were streaming down my face. Surprised at myself when I caught a glimpse in the mirror on the nightstand, I quickly wiped my face. My hair was a disheveled mess, my bun had locks falling out everywhere and my makeup was smeared. For a moment I had no idea where I was, when I looked over I saw a girl laying there. No, not just any girl. It was Bo.

"Oh, shit." I groaned remembering the night before. I stole a glance at the clock. **10:15am **it blinked at me. "Oh, Shit! Shit!" I threw back the covers and jumped out of bed not even bothering to be silent. I was late for work.

At this pace it felt like I would never make it to the station on time, I was already trying to come up with excuses to give my nosey partner about why I was late. Dyson would never let me live this down if he knew where I had spent the night, well with who to be precise.

"Tamsin?" Bo was awake. Fantastic. I was not equipped to dealing with a succubus at this moment. Especially not Bo.

"What?" I snarled at her. I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it, I was in a bad mood, I haven't had a drink in 18 hours and I was late for work. On top of that I stayed the night in a place I shouldn't have.

I made the mistake of looking at her. My expression softened immediately when I saw the hurt look on her face. I mentally slapped myself and made my way back over to the bed, forgetting to put my shirt on. I sat down and looked down at my hands. I had apologize to her, it's not her fault I'm running late.

I took a deep breath and looked back up. Somewhere between the time I sat down and looked up she had moved closer to me, without me realizing.

"I'm sorry." I muttered. Slowly she reached a hand up to touch my cheek, before I could back away she winced withdrawing her hand and clutching her side.

"Bo?" I reached over and lifted her shirt. "Oh my God, Bo." I whispered in shock seeing the large bruise on her side. "Bo, you need to feed now, it looks like you've got internal bleeding." I tried to grab her phone to call Dyson, a human wouldn't live after a feed to heal this, so I didn't bother thinking of Lauren, but before I could grab it I was slammed back onto the bed.

Bo's blue eyes bore down into mine. My breath caught in my throat. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening! I have been trying to stay away but now, I don't know if I can, she needs me, well her succubus side needs me, right now. Just one time couldn't hurt could it? We've kissed before, but not sex, I don't know if I can contain myself much longer around her.

I pull her face down to mine and kiss her, she takes no time at all in pulling off my pants that I had just put on. Work was the farthest thing from my mind now. I had a beautiful woman on top of me, who wanted me, and I was going to give it my all for once, and for last.

"Thank you." Bo's tone was undecipherable. I couldn't tell what she was feeling or thinking. It was hard to try when I had her curled up into my side. I didn't cuddle. I don't do cuddle. I don't have sex with people I'm trying to make hate me. God dammit why couldn't she just hate me! Kenzi had no trouble hating me! Lauren had no trouble hating me. Dyson isn't really capable of hate. But Bo won't hate me, no matter how hard I try, she won't hate me!

"Okay, cuddle sesh is over. You're healed now, it's daylight, just try to stay out of trouble." I sighed getting up, relieved she let me go without a big fuss. "I'm 6 hours late for work and Dyson is going to worry if I don't show up. This never happened Succubabe." I threw on my jacket and walked out the door before she could get a word in. I knew if she asked me to stay longer I wouldn't be able to resist.

I pulled up to the station and walked inside. I nodded to Dyson and tried to rush to the bathroom to avoid him for a while longer, I still couldn't think of a good enough excuse as to why I was late. Before I could grab the door handle he intercepted me.

"Rough night?" he smiled, clearly entertained.

"No, why?" I folded my arms trying to give nothing away.

". Before I could grab the door handle he intercepted me.

"Rough night?" he smiled, clearly entertained.

"No, why?" I folded my arms trying to give nothing away.

"Your hair is a mess, you wore those clothes yesterday, and you reek of sex." He took a step closer to me and sniffed. "Bo." He said, his eyes narrowing. "Why is Bo's scent heavy on yours?" Damn his canine nose!

"Alright, you caught me. Bo got into some trouble and she needed to heal. I was going to call you to help but she couldn't make it much longer so I helped." I shrugged trying to play the martyr card. "Just taking one for the team" I punched his arm lightly.

"Now, if you'll excuse me I need to pee." I stepped around him and opened the bathroom door. He slammed it shut before I could enter.

"If you hurt her Tamsin, I swear." He growled low in my ear sending shivers down my spine.

"I won't." I pushed him away. I wouldn't hurt her, because I wasn't going to get near her. I wasn't going to lay my heart on the line like he did. Like the doc did. I was a Valkyrie. Valkyries don't love. We don't feel.

I mustn't be a very good Valkyrie. I was drawn to Bo In a way that was more than her succubus charm. It was everything about her.

I closed the bathroom door behind me glad to be alone. I leaned against the door and sank to the ground.

Why did she have to be so perfect? It was just like I told her before when I was drunk. _Where do you get off being so perfect? Think you've seen everything and then you see you. __**I'm alright, but I'm not perfect. **__Yes you are, to me you are. Your eyes are both brown and blue. __**Tamsin what are you doing? **__Your heart is both strong and gentle. You're virtuous yet you're a succubus. You shouldn't be... __**Be what? **__Be real, be here._

Oh, God, what was I thinking when I said all that? She looked so confused, I was very drunk, but I remember it so clearly. If I could take all that back I would. I shouldn't have said anything, I shouldn't have gone over there in the first place. I lied to her, I wasn't there to drink her booze, I just couldn't stay away. I needed to see her. I need to see her now.

This distance that I have to put between us, it's killing me. Time and space have become the enemy, and what I need, I have to keep far away. Did I just admit that to myself? That I needed her? What is it about her that makes me weak?

I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I needed to be honest with her. I might as well tell her today.


End file.
